For all those yet to be enlightened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBJV56WUDng

psmwpspauz,upggu9oqt,gzmfmp97xMG,Z

Emily: "It's really hard Jimmy Zhu!"
Myself: thats what she said.

Best call, ever.

Not really.
I dont know?

Yeah. Country fair was good. Good job to Jenny/Danica/Troy and all the other people i was bothered to watch. Kinda.

Thats about it, jumping castle was like, mega fun too. The whole like hour and a half we were on there. And Daniel on the velcro wall hahaha like most embarrasing thing ever, but funny. I would post it on youtube but i cant be bothered.

Eh. lahmrqg,zxpq/

My brain hurts.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Obvious much?

andrew says (8:27 PM):
mcdonalds guess who ftw
emily ! says (8:28 PM):
WAITING FOR ANDREW
andrew says (8:28 PM):
waiting for emily !
emily ! says (8:29 PM):
im daniel
mwahahhaa
and im black
LOL
and i have blonde hair
haha
andrew says (8:29 PM):
arent you spoed to not tell me that
emily ! says (8:29 PM):
WAIT
LOL
HAHAHA
DAMMIT
andrew says (8:29 PM):
LOL
HAHAHAHAHA
nice job emily
nice job
the point of guess who
is that im sposed to guess

Yes. That was fun. Good playing something involving mcdonalds which can't physically harm you.
As some of you may know i had a 6th birthday party at mcdonalds, and as we were walking in to take a tour of where the acne-ridden 14 year old's flip their frozen burger patties which apparently taste nice, i was showered with hot frying oil from some twat who doesnt know how to safely handle the metal thing you put chips in. Hot, burning, oily chips. Best birthday ever. Like the one 3 years ago when my friend had a car accident on the way to my house. Oh well, paintball next year, that will surely be a much safer experience. Heh.

6789998212.

Yeah, sea monkeys. whoop whoop. The one on the left is from like ages ago and the one on the right is today. I dont know why im still posting pictures cos you cant really see them. But theyre in there i assure you. Theyre just...small. Cept Emily sea monkey, but that one is so pro it can go invisible, so we cant see it either. Stealthy eh..

Well yeah. Continued from yesterday's post on "tail shops" I present to you a picture which Emily kindly drew for me today. It will surely help you to spot one.

Tis' massively cool. Thanks Emily :D

Tails include:

Fox tail

Shaggy tail

Sheep tail (yes it isnt just for people who wanna be dogs, unless you want to be a sheepdog HAH)

Poodle tail

Long tail

Big tail

Classic tail

Curly tail

Elephant tail

Small fluffy ball tail

Fairy tail

Jumbo connector 2000 tail

Fast tail

Horse tail

Light saber tail FTW.

Wierd tail

Fluffy tail

Crocodile tail

Fire tail

AND Dinosaur tail.

I never thought I would have met anyone who could possibly think of so many tails. Pretty fucking astounding I say. Good job.

Oh and I apparently wear triangles often, as indicated in the picture. That was the only thing i didnt quite understand. Maybe i dont notice what i wear often enough to realise its a triangle..

P.S. I ALSO FUCKING HATE MS NICHOLLS.

Like to hear what shes got to say when she finds this on her desk:

Are you serious miss, this is CRAP

No-one in the class actually wants to rap

I know that youre thinking "this is fun"

But id rather catch chlamydia or have the runs.

Thanks Luke for the material. I owe you. Sorry i actually gave it to her though LOL.

Note to self.

1. There are shops located around Australia which just sell tails for people wishing to turn into dogs. These obviously named "Tail Shops" cater for a wide variety of breeds, with display tails wagging around all over the walls. Let me know if you spot one people. - courtesy of Emily. (what a surprise there :) )

2. Apparently you can turn a pocket pc into a Kaoss pad. LOL I'd love to see that happen Alvinn.

3. Luke is directly related to E.T.- The ExtraTerrestrial. He lives with his BROTHER Elliot and his magical flying bike. -Emily.

4. WHAT THE FUCK DOES 6789998212 MEAN? I've been informed by Emily it means "hehehee" but I doubt it. Don't tease me if I use it in normal conversation instead of laughing..

5. Daniel is so cool and awesome he doesn't even need to rhyme or finish his rap.

6. The only way to practice playing Creep by Radiohead is to masturbate really fast- Alvinn.

7. Theres a reason why you only type "stewardesses" with your left hand.- Alvinn.

Thats it for today. I might do this more often so I can remember this stuff.
P.S. I FUCKING HATE MS NICHOLLS.

When I say dry streak, I mean I don't wash my hands.

It was the weekend today, AND YESTERDAY. What joy ! I went to some club in Cabramatta or something for my friends dads birthday. Which is cool cos that means drinking, which in turn means whacked stories about firing people because they smelt like shit, and being able to ask for any amount of money to waste on pinball machines. Afterwards I ventured back to my friend's house. His name is Josh. He plays harmonica and collects knives. I learnt a massively cool card trick. Then I spent today writing music I might use for our next music assessment and failblog/bash.org-ing. Twas good.

Country fair is next weekend. I'm actually half-excited for once. Me and Daniel have agreed o meet up early and buy Batman walkie-talkies before some undeserving children lay their hands on them. Then me might try stalk Mr. Peck if he's there. WEAR YOUR CUBINATOR SHIRT DANIEL. Yeah.

bash.org - FUNNIEST THING EVER.

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches."

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

Anonymous?

Well I hate to do this to all of you who thought I had enough testicles to physically restrain myself from doing girly anonymous blogs, but i've been thinking a lot lately and I think it's probably a good idea to make these sort of things, a lot people in this blog will probably never read it but that's alright. Just so you know about a third of these people either don't go to Hurlstone or are animals. Yes, thats right, animals. I'll probably seclude myself from the internet for the rest of the weekend as I need to pick weeds for my ag assignment, mock my sister with food as she is participating in the 40-hour famine (who could resist?) and then i'll probably do something half useful like write music or throw things at other things. Anyway:

ONE: I don't really talk to you much anymore, which sometimes is a good thing because you must be one of the most disturbed and annoying people ever. But you have always been a great friend and we seem to have a lot in common sometimes, you have a really diverse respect for music and I respect you for that in turn. Good job.
TWO: You are quite possibly the most strange little person I have ever met, and I am so glad to have been friends with you the last what, 5 years? I think it's awesome we're still in contact, and even though your new friends are kind of not my type, I am always happy to spend time with you and your Pizza Hut cap. Im sure you will grow one day and tower over all of us, but until then, you're a bigger man on the inside than anyone I know.
THREE: We used to pretty "tight" I guess. You are extremely lame sometimes and seriously have girl problems, but you have always seemed to trust me and I will always be happy to help you and trust you back. I hope one day my transport arrangements allow for us to be friends like we used to be, if that makes sense.
FOUR: You are absolutely the lamest but funniest person I know, sometimes you just dont make sense but a lot of the time we share a really childish and punny sense of humour. You don't really seem to understand relationships and such and tend to be bit childish when it comes to girls and such but I think that will pass. Until then I guess it's alright to have someone who is just happy to be a carefree and devoted friend. I can't possibly imagine what things would be like if we hadn't met in year seven.
FIVE: You are like, my soul buddy. You may be inherently evil and vicious but you have always been there with me to know that i'm not alone. Sometimes I wonder if you can really understand me, but at the end of the day it doesnt matter, you have brightened up the last 4 and a half years of my life and I hope you continue to do so for much much longer. I don't think I would ever be able to replace you.
SIX: You are one of the most fun to be with girls I have ever met, and I absolutely hate that we see each other no more than once or twice a year. We have been friends basically our whole lives and I would have feelings for you if it werent for one slightly disturbing flaw, man that would be wierd. You're freaking awesome, cept for when you laughed at my 4yo cousin running me into a pole and tearing my leg. But i dont really blame you. Hehehe.
SEVEN: You are fucking hilarious. Fucking disturbed. And fucking fun to talk to about guitars. You have taught me an incredible amount of shit and introduced me to new ideas. Im grateful for you always listening to me and accepting my "ideas"? I'll be sure to miss your company soon but im sure our gear obsession will acquaint us in the future. You are probably the most unique person I know and I think you should embrace that because you have a great personality. Peace out dude.
EIGHT: Man we have been friends for a fair while now, and one day when we aren't together on the basis we always have been, it will be really wierd. Because you have other friends and I needa accept that. We seem to be quite different people with not a terrible lot in common, but that just makes us a more interesting pair of friends I think. You're like one of/my best friend and I'm so glad we have always been able to trust each other and reconcile when we have disagreements. You're a bit of a girl sometimes but that's okay. So am I, I guess.
NINE: We are like, so incredibly different. And I have no idea how we have been friends for so long, but I dont care because you are so kind and trustworthy. We've fought tonnes of times before but we have always been able to accept our differences in the end and I think that has made us more mature. I hope we never lose contact, EVER.
TEN: I probably make a big deal out of you but you do mean a lot to me, and I hope you turn out a lot like number FIVE.
ELEVEN: You are like, massively funny, and probably on some kind of drugs. I hope not but god who knows. We used to talk a lot a bit like number THREE. Its a shame we dont really anymore, but a second spent talking to you is certainly a worthwhile one.
TWELVE: I have no idea what to say here. It's massively wierd. We've known each other for a couple years now and we've always been friends in some way. We fell out a bit sometime and to be honest i dont remember when, but im really sorry if I said anything that made you feel bad. We never really got to talk about it and I regret not doing so, I guess i was just nervous confused etc. Point is that I have always tried to side with you even when a lot of people didnt like you and im glad i did so because you are one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and I mean that. Anyway, lately things have been really great. I think you have matured incredibly over the last, 6 months maybe? Although sometimes you do things that are just....wierd. But it's not like I can talk. I care about you and so do a lot of other people and I am proud of you for always being yourself, and making responsible decisions, not just doing things because theyre "cool". You' are the most amazing, awkward, funny and PUBLICLY EMBARRASSING girl I have ever known. This must be the most stupidly obvious anonymous blog ever but who cares.

Im off to go...do stuff. Have a nice weekend everyone.

What happens when your parents can't supply you with clean water....

Alright, so i've decided to make an attempt at a blog completely free of sexual innuendo. Heh, ENDO. Wish me luck.

This first brings me to recount a story of a small, lonely child. A child so lonely and small his parents wouldn't even supply him with water to wash himself. Since we are yet to discover his true identity, he will be referred to as Jimothy for the remainder of this blog.

Once upon a time, little Jimothy arrived at school. But OH NO, his feet were dirty. So upon leaving his period 4 history class in room 16, Jimothy waited for the corridor to clear for him to wash his feet in the conveniently placed sink which no-one has any idea what it's for.

Jimothy had it all planned out, his feet were to be squeaky clean, if it weren't for one fatal flaw..

A group of myself, Brother Lucas Wesley "Wezzles" Prior, and Squeaky found ourselves hopelessly meandering through this corridor for a reason I don't entirely remember. As Wezzles and I paused to avert out eyes upon a comic strip on the wall, Squeaky fulfilled her namesake in practically exploding in seizure as she laid her eyes upon Jimothy during his foot-bath. As expected from Emily's long history of talking to/intimidating small children, she proceeded to question Jimothy's bathing habit. It would have been a successful endeavour if it were not for the whole seizure thing. What was meant to be a simple intimidating squeal turned into an array of disturbing noises which can only be compared to say, Daniel at a Pokemon convention. This resulted in Squeaky being restrained and returned to her cage, as per normal. Whilst i tried to apologise to the small child, I could not help but laugh too, because yknow, WHO WASHES THEIR FEET IN A SINK AT SCHOOL. Upon us leaving, we made the sudden realisation of something so obvious at the time- Jimothy and his unnamed friend were in fact cleansing themselves prior to performing a religious ritual, where Jimothy would make human sacrifice of his small and meaty friend. We have since returned several weeks later, but found no evidence of their being, apart from a small pair of "light lilac" scissors, now in the possession of Mr. Geerling.

I will now include a picture of this occurence, please do not hesitate to contact any one of us if you find this child. There may be other small, tasty, naive boys awaiting their own sacrifice...

Thanks in advance for any help you may provide.

On another note, I am now prompted to say:
emily jane cannings owned me, andrew guy formica, in an epic nudge battle.

It's true. I have been completely and utterly annihilated in a nudging battle of the highest accord. Apart from being mentally disturbed (good thing), ninja, good at throwing things in the bin and missing because she doesnt want to make anyone else feel bad about their own throwing, ace at intimidating small people and accidentally flinging rubber bands at them whilst trying to skin herself of freckles, and proud owner of the hottest bangs in the country, she is now a champion of yet another highly acclaimed sport. I congratulate you and I hope your mentos taste like victory.

PS you owe me sausage biscuits.

Part 2.

alvinn says (8:03 PM):
Naming guitars, okay
alvinn says (8:03 PM):
Naming penises, gay.
andrew says (8:05 PM):
how !
alvinn says (8:05 PM):
Well, it seems so...i don't know
alvinn says (8:06 PM):
Womanising?
alvinn says (8:06 PM):
For some reason
andrew says (8:06 PM):
oh
andrew says (8:06 PM):
id like to name mine jeffrey
alvinn says (8:07 PM):
Bahahahaha
alvinn says (8:07 PM):
Um.
alvinn says (8:07 PM):
Hi jeffrey?
alvinn says (8:07 PM):
Wait
alvinn says (8:07 PM):
No
alvinn says (8:07 PM):
I am not talking to your penis.
andrew says (8:08 PM):
oh my
andrew says (8:08 PM):
well
andrew says (8:09 PM):
jeffrey says *discharge*
alvinn says (8:09 PM):
Scarred for life.

Just thought you'd like to know.

andrew says (6:17 PM):
i dunno what to say though
andrew says (6:17 PM):
you basically said it for me
alvinn says (6:17 PM):
Hahaha, no worries
alvinn says (6:17 PM):
Just add anything else you remember
andrew says (6:18 PM):
i dont really remember anything apart from the big poof noise and emily smearing cream in my face
alvinn says (6:19 PM):
Shouldn't it be the other way round
andrew says (6:19 PM):
OH MY GOD
alvinn says (6:20 PM):
Get someee
andrew says (6:21 PM):
That was one of the funniest/wrongest sex jokes youve made in a long time
alvinn says (6:22 PM):
Thank you, thank you
andrew says (6:22 PM):
anytime, anytime
andrew says (6:22 PM):
oh man
andrew says (6:22 PM):
thatll take a while to digest
alvinn says (6:22 PM):
Yeah, her too...
andrew says (6:22 PM):
ARGH
alvinn says (6:23 PM):
I'm on fire

Chapter 3: I'm Running Out Of Lame-ass Chapter Names And I'm Only Up To 3

Alright well, when I was away, my tank magically spawned these gooey little blob things. The first of which i shall name: Emily. See for yourselves...

Amazing innit? How fast they can grow in 3 days. If she lives up to her namesake maybe this sea monkey will spawn a six pack and the frequency range of the "bastard child of an ultrasound transducer" - (Quote from Alvinn). I wish thou sea monkey a long and prosperous life and when another grows big enough to be named Alvino or Alvina (depending on whether Alvinn is listening to John Mayer at the time) i will sure to document Emily sea monkey bashing the shit out of him/her.

I am now void of sea monkeys due to my lack of mother who drives legally enough to transport a Sea Monkey tank, so my updates and photos will be limited this week. God i can feel the withdrawal symptoms already. Wish me luck....

Yeah,

I went to like, queensland for 3 days, cos like, yeah. And it sucked cos i had to eat takeout like every meal and for some reason i decided to down 3 whole anchovys. I thought if I could handle mixing cake and pee I could eat something which contains more salt than you would find in the average household pool. Yeah. That was boring. Oh well sea monkeys next, you'll be pissing yourself with excitement. (Directed to Alvinn and Emily as they stand over the toilet bowl with Mint Slices).

ATTENTION.

Well, as some of you may know, I recently invented what I like to refer to as "The Sport Of The Future". I like to call it "Biscuit Peeing". The idea originated when one rainy day I was caught between eating a biscuit and going to the loo. How, i'm not quite sure, but the point is, it was fun.
Yes, thats right, FUN. I even like saying the word fun. FUN FUN FUN. Anyway as you can guess, this game basically consists of consuming an article of food whilst going to the toilet. Standing up, sitting down, eating biscuits, weet bix or uhh, migoreng, the game works for everyone in a different and unique way, making it fun for everyone. I urge you all to commence immediately as I would hate to see you all left out when it becomes a worldwide phenomenon.

Current players include:
Myself, of course.
Nikkida- been there for the idea since the start, couldnt have done it without you.
Alvinn- because he is a crazy bastard who has nothing better to do.
And our newest member- EMILY. Recently informed of the game, she has welcomed it honorably and is participating at a rate of about 5 rounds per day. Well done you bright little sausage :)

Chapter 2: And Now We Wait..

As you all may well know and be horribly worried about, last night upon the fertilisation of the eggs, my Sea Monkey tank proceeded to turn blue. I decided to wait til morning, when i was to call a vet if this eerie blue mist had not cleared.

I was beginning to think this was the work of my fiendish budgerigar, Flurry. You could see it in his beady little budgie eyes.
Fortunately, upon my waking, the mist had cleared enough to subdue my worries.
And now, we wait for the eggs to hatch. Or, as Emily says, a massive explosion will occur out of nowhere and the Sea Monkey babies will magically appear. You never know....

I Was Surprised Too.

emily ! says (10:20 PM):
so
emily ! says (10:21 PM):
new topic
andrew says (10:21 PM):
no wth were talking about cake
alvinn says (10:21 PM):
I thought we were talking about emily not wearing clothes
andrew says (10:21 PM):
no that would be me without the clothes
alvinn says (10:22 PM):
Mm. Tempting, but emily still wins out in the 'who would alvinn prefer to see without clothes contest' only by just though. Sorry to do this to you.

On another note.

I will hereby make my last mention of emily EVER, as she is getting too cocky for her own good. LOL COCKY. And here it is:

We are both in the same aerobics group at curves, therefore we are together. There. Done. Goodbye?

Chapter 1: Purification

I welcome you to the beginning of my hopefully long and prosperous SEA MONKEY journey. In the first instalment I shall begin with my mission statement, courtesy of whoever wrote it.



WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF AMAZING LIVE SEA MONKEYS(R)

You are about to begin a NEW amazing hobby that is so fantastic, it STAGGERS THE IMAGINATION! With only water and the "crystals" in your Sea-Monkey(R) kit, you will create INSTANT-LIFE(R)! Yes, single-handedly you will raise up the worlds only living, breathing, INSTANT-PETS(R)--- Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys(R)! With the act of giving your Sea-Monkeys(R) life, you join in the immensely rewarding experience of fellow hobbyists throughout the world! As a creator of Sea-Monkeys(R), you share with them, the knowledge that through your willingness to explore the unknown, you have stepped across the threshold of one of the strangest worlds of tomorrow's science ... TODAY!



Nextly, my progress. As of yesterday I have emptied the famed "Packet 1- Water Purifier" into my Sea Monkey lair.

Cover your eyes if you arent quite up to the excitement, i assure you its quite astounding.

I have now emptied the Instant Live Egg packet into the purest of purely purified water, where over the next day or two, my army will spawn. I have already been advised to call one Emily, anyone else looking for a dedicated Monkey, just ask.

And You Thought You Gave Me A Great Birthday Reception

As many of you may know, I celebrated a birthday like yesterday or something, and according to Emily, today as well because yknow, "I'm more suited to the 11th". Which is strange but HEY, who could complain about having two birthdays. Anyway, on Sunday I went on adventure to my relatives house in VOYAGER POINT. Where i had a joint birthday celebration with my uncle, who is on the 5th. Upon this occasion i recieved possibly the most skilled birthday card in like, ever.. (Sorry Emily and Alvinn and Cheryl yours were mad too). BUT who could beat this?

ITS A FREAKING DRAGON. (Not a St. George one, that would come under the heading "FAIL".) But this dragon is I believe, up there with greats. EXAMPLE, spyro, dragonite and that bird thingy from Deltora Quest. I rest my case.

Jeans For Genes Day

First post hey? Didn't want to stuff around with all that first timer bollocks so I thought I would start off with a slice of last week. As you all know, Jeans for Genes Day is when everybody gives the SRC money for no other reason than to wear clothes to school, lucky people we are. Sometime during the day, this happened, and im glad I dont particularly remember it all that well. All i can say is, Emily.

Only other thing I remember there is I somehow hopped onto Alvinn's back. Yet again, I wont go into detail.