28.

Heh.

This one above was sposed to be directed at Emily and Alvinn as they both supposedly have brain tumors, but I didn't realise the joke was that harsh. It's here anyway though. But youre both beautiful. LOL.

If Ms Nicholls has/had a family, I think the above would be an accurate representation.

The above reminds me of my jokes. The puns that is. COS THEYRE FUNNY. Today people "dust" didn't seem to think so.

Double Heh.

Reminds me of something DANIEL would say.

alvinn says (8:43 PM):
Lol, Andrew. Life is one big comic strip

Starts with a fuck
Hell, i don't know where i'm going with that

*

These things just have a way of describing everything dont they?

Anonymous #2

Well I thought it was bad enough the first time, but turns out a boring Saturday night can bring out the worse in all of us. Here's Anonymous Blog #2, with a twist.

ONE: You are really quite special, I will never tire of the packets of joy you come in. Especially the tubes- I really love your tubes. Although youre more fun when you're fresh and hot, I dont mind having you the day after, it's all part of the experience really. I also love that you're full of dough.

TWO: Your long, hard wood just can't be described with words. Im sorry for the time I pounded you against the bathtub, but it was just all too exciting. My love for you extends far beyond that smooth nut of yours, it is very much more. Im not too fond that you lack the F-holes some of your relatives possess, but then again, nobody is perfect. I can express my true feelings on you more than I can possibly do on anything else.

THREE: Sometimes I wish you had a longer jack, but then I realise that you already give me so much more than I could ask for, and ask for nothing in return but a rest up for the next time I plug into you. I hope you never die.

FOUR: Things haven't been great lately. I get really angry when you won't let me sit on you all through the night, and when I do get angry I hit you, and throw you. I need you to know that the reason I do this is because I really could not live without you, and I hope things get better soon.

FIVE: You really help me every day, especially at this time of the year. When I rub my nose on you, the relief I get is just so... sensual? Sometimes when this happens, the stuff doesnt always come out, and it might seem like a waste, but I don't mind. A second spent touching you is one I always savour.

SIX: I haven't been on you for a while now, but when I am, I really enjoy it. You truly have the sweetest juice I have ever tasted. Even though I can't taste the sugar in the back of my throat, I always know it's there, and I thank you for that.

SEVEN: Most people think you're very kinky, and think less of me for that, but when it comes down to it, that's really just the way I like it. I can't think of anything I like to slip into more every night. Im getting bigger now and I don't exactly fit in you all the time, but it's worth squeezing to get inside of you.

EIGHT: Having you in my mouth is just the best feeling ever. Once you're there I just cant stop, I always want more of you. People might think that a bit unhealthy in many ways, and there are diseases that I could get from that, but I think that I can be safe with you and prevent that from happening, even if I do swallow every time. You make me really happy.

NINE: I start almost every morning with you. Being able to cover you in my light, creamy milk just makes me smile so much. Then comes the sugar. I'll give you some sugar anytime, sometimes it might be a little too much, but I think it's appropriate considering how dear you are to me. Once you've soaked up all that milk, we really get down to business. Shoving you in there so hard and quick to get to school on time might hurt you, but I think it works better for us that way. If I spent too much time on you, I think I might get a little bored, although with my family, you usually don't last very long anyway.

TEN: We have been together longer than all my other anonymous friends. From the beginning, you were always quite boring, having you on me was just so standard and simple. But then I got to year 8, and you really started to bloom. I don't if it was hormones or just my attitude, because thats a time when we all start to go through some changes, but you just stood out. Now you are one of the things that makes me myself. Some people call us names like faggot when we're together, but I can't let that get to me, you're too important for me to worry about that. I love how you are so multicoloured now, youve bloomed into an interracial sex party really. I think we will have a lot of good times to come, and that you will go through some changes soon, but youre always the same to me. I love you.

And that's it.
If you would like some similar reading I encourage you all to check out Emily's blog from around this time.
Yay for fucked up anonymous posts!!
BTW Daniel isn't ten. ><

27

For those of you who haven't noticed, I have a widget thingo of Mr. T quotes. Is pretty rad yeah??

Lol at Emily-

Emily: OMFGOSH ROFL LOL KATRINA.

GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT?

Andrew: what?

Emily: I had a baby.

o________o

26?

Excuses guys give for not using condoms:

-It doesn't fit.

-I need them for other people.

-I have new socks.

-I don't like it.

-Pool party tomorrow and I'm bringing the water bombs.

-Too expensive because of GFC (the F stands for food).

-Too dull because of GFC (the F stands for flavour).

Yeah. I dunno why I included that. It's courtesy of myself, Luke and Daniel.

Eep.

25

I havent blogged in six days. If I was a New Zealander I would have said "sex days" and you would all laugh. Except I'm not. Also people talking and typing are two different things. Good thinking there. Why did I even bother typing that. And now I'm just going on about it and making myself look even more stupid. Gosh.

I dont really have anything to talk about? I haven't done any homework and I don't intend to. I think I will just write more potential music for our next assessment and practice my Darth Vader voice for play-reading in English. Not that my character is particularly evil or anything, it just makes things interesting. LUKE STOP MAKING BREATHING NOISES IN THE BACKGROUND!! Otherwise I'll pause and everyone will hear you and think to themselves a reason why your hands are under the table! What fun that will be biatch.

This Saturday Daniel and I are going to Macarthur to pick up girls I MEAN WATCH A MOVIE. 0___0. District 9 it is. A documentary about alien slums in Africa or something? Looks sick. Our first movie outing as FIFTEEN YEAR OLD'S.

Oh and also I should mention my Sea Monkeys died. About a week ago. Heh. My theory is that cannibalistic Emily (I capitalised your name!) Sea Monkey ate her small, tasty accomplices, and then spontaneously combusted. Anyway yeah I'm really sad.

"emily: man you're gonna be a bad parent if you can't even raise sea monkeys"

Argh.

24

Today is Monday. This means tomorrow is Tuesday and hopefully (according to my calculations) the next day should be Wednesday. I spent a while working that out so I hope it's right.

Well, yesterday was fathers day, which prompted me to spend time with my father, funnily enough. Here is a brief rundown, IN COMIC FORM!

Hah. I wish. We just spent two hours getting lost in the shire. Then went to a rockabilly motor show full of old fat people with tattoos/ Awesome eh?

Hrmm. Today me and Emily went to go to the uniform shop with Luke, and he didnt even buy anything. But on the way there Emily scared the shit out of some year seveners by stalking them, jumping them, touching them and stealing their bags. Afterwards we realised one of them might have been JIMOTHY, aforementioned. We shall track him down. Then afterwards there was a guy walking with his bag, and I thought he was a horse. Which I think was perfectly logical. And yeah. That was monday.

I wrote two songs this afternoon. Go me.

Ditto the last blog title I made.

I havent blogged in four days, so here is an update of my recent doings:

.



Jokes. Although I can't remember much. Wednesday was boring. We lost ten nil in hockey. Which is almost an improvement. I wont comment on that.

Thursday was Jewish museum, or as I like to call it, the "Jewseum". It was quite sombre and peaceful, which makes me feel bad because I laughed out loud a few times. Although nothing can quite compare to Emily squeaking in the middle of the speech of a Holocaust survivor because the old woman made a joke, and it took about an extra minute for Emily to get the joke. Go figure. But then she slept. So did George, practically on my shoulder. And Ms Nicholls was smiling evil-ly as the old woman described the terror in the ghettos of Poland, and I could have sworn I saw her glance at Avi once or twice.

Friday was average. We get Miss Sayed back next week. Words cannot describe my joy. Except for joy. Thats a pretty accurate description. Provided in a single word. And not only is it a word, it is a word with only THREE LETTERS. What a compact and useful piece of the English language. God bless joy. Then I went to Macarthur and bought my dad a fathers day present. And got shoes. And a magazine and a milkshake. Which then prompted me to read the magazine whilst drinking the milkshake. I think that was a fairly responsible use for the two.

Today is Saturday. It is alright. I found the last of my ag weeds. And my sister helped me. Then I had an ice block and played basketball. Then I showered and now im blogging. Yeah. Id be in a good mood, but my grandfather passed the other day, and I just found out he had a younger gold digging girlfriend that sexed him into leaving her almost a million dollars of property and such. Family ain't too happy. But what do you do hey? Who knows.

It is sunny. Theres a hole in the back of our shed. And I poked it and it got bigger. Heh.

Anyway, have a nice weekend anyone who is reading this.

I can't think of titles any more. Why so?

Today was Tuesday. I was made aware of this startling fact this morning, when my eyes were drawn upon my calendar. It's September now, which for me, means a Surf Green Fender Custom Shop 67' Heavy Relic Telecaster. I could sit here and describe it for the next 5 hours and thirty-eight minutes, but why do that when Alvinn could do it for me.

Out of todays six periods, only two actually involved "work". They also involved substitutes, which means "little to no work". Fkn awesome I say. And English brought joy when our class was left without a teacher for the whole period. We hoped for the best, which basically involved Nicholls' finally carking it. But that didnt happen. What was worse was at lunch when I had to hand her an apology letter and, SHAKE HER HAND. If my blog had a poll it would now involve the question "What sharp implement should I use to cleanse my skin of this filth?". I was thinking a grater, but I will take any suggestions on board.

But yes. English. Most of the time was spent listening to Lisa's stories, including the one about how her dog "Oreo" follows her around in the afternoon. Darn I wouldn't be complaining myself if I was constantly being followed by a tasty biscuit treat, some people just take things for granted...

So yeah. I was convinced that Ski Camp would completely bore-ify school, but it actually got better. No offense to anyone, probably just because it was a bludge of a day. I still miss you guys.

Lately I have been reading Cyanide and Happiness comics like, ritualistically. Ive gotten through almost 600 of them. What is wrong with my life??

So gonna be what I say next time someone is cold. Hah.

Double LOL. Hah.