~

It's cold.

Brother Luke

L: so why dont you sleep more?
A: dont get tired at night
A: need to listen to music
A: cant do anything otherwise
L: you dont want to do anything - you need to get so bored you fall asleep
A: LOL maybe
L: ask mrs johnson if you can borrow some of her movies
A: HAHAHHAHAHAHHA SO TRUE !
A: i'll remember that
L: please dont actually do that

By the way, sorry about that terrible excuse for a pun that me and George started the other day.
We need to spend some time 'Luking' for something else to say.

We're so sense making.

andrew says (8:13 PM):
Have you ever wondered why the word coincidental has dental in it?
EMILY says (8:13 PM):
Err..
andrew says (8:13 PM):
It doesn't make sense to me
Like
Wtf does it have to do with dental
NOT ONLY THAT, but coin too
EMILY says (8:13 PM):
Yeah its cuz
Someone got a coin stuck in their mouth
And theyre like OMG how coincidental
andrew says (8:14 PM):
BECAUSE THEY CHEWED IT
AND CRUSHED THEIR TEETH
AND NEEDED DENTAL WORK
I GET IT NOW
Yay awesome analogy bambi high five, it makes sense to me now
EMILY says (8:15 PM):
WOO LOL
were so sense making
andrew says (8:16 PM):
and what does sense come in?
COINS
WOO
EMILY says (8:16 PM):
COINS
How coincidental!

36

Moving onto something new right now but I shall keep this blog if i ever feel the need to post, and for the archives. But don't bother checking it out for now. Laters.

www.testicicles.tumblr.com

Why the fuck do I have nothing to talk about?

Because I've been studying.
Holy fuck.
Maybe i'll get less than five fails this time around.
I doubt it.
Such a darn waste of time.
For those of you who haven't noticed I am writing every sentence on a different line.
This is because it makes my blog look longer and possibly more interesting.
I highly doubt that though.
But.
I am easily amused.
Anyway.
The holidays are almost over ;0.
I don't know whether to be glad or remorseful.
I guess they have been slightly more productive for me than usual, I hope they were the same for you guys.
That sentence took more than one line up.
I'm fucking embarrassed now.
I devised a way to hold and use two pens with one hand.
It works well if you have five fingers, otherwise i'm not sure.
I'll get ET and his magical flying bike and brother Elliott to test it.
ET has four fingers.
I have watched that movie way too many times.
(you can never watch ET too many times).
I have it on DVD and everything.
Actually I own a DVD that is seriously 5 hours film of birds sitting on sticks.
You're supposed to show it to your bird if they're lonely or anything.
I don't know what to be more ashamed of, the fact that I actually bought it thinking it would work or the fact I think my budgie is lonely.
Animals have feelings too yknow.
I would know....
Rather than leaving on a note of bestiality that will just creep people out and keep them away from this blog I shall talk about something else now for a long period of time to wipe your mind rather than deleting that.
My backspace button doesn't work, see.
I'm only joking.
That would be pretty inconvenient for me if it did.
I make enough speeling errors after backspacing and fixing stuff up, imagine what it would be like if they all showed up.
People would think i'm dyslexic.
But i'm not.
I don't think.
Gosh maybe I should get that checked out.
I should really start trailing the net for cool pictures to include here like I sometimes did before. But I can't really beat Ally's 'blending in' picture.
Dangit.
It's first day of term tomorrow.
And.
Summer uniform ;0.
Which is great, I think, because legs like mine don't deserve to be covered up all the time.
Hehehehehe.
Thats right be jealous you.
About what?
I dont know I lost track of what I was talking about.
Haha now that we haven't worn our uniform since term one everyone will come to school dressed all tight and kinky.
Wow aren't I going to enjoy this.
Well that is all for now.
Have a nice 12 hours and 4 minutes before school starts.

SWEET.

Just crossed something new off my list of things to do before I die.
#45- Watch Paris Hilton die.

For those of you who haven't seen the remake of House Of Wax, I urge you all to watch it. It might not be a great movie, with a decent plot or good actors or anything, but my gosh nothing will ever beat the satisfaction of seeing that rusty old pole driven through her thick head. I would show pictures of something but stuff like that would make me look like I'm copying Anna's blog, so I'll leave that for her :D

AND

I'm not the only one who writes cool stories. This is my friend Alex:

yay. who did hello why donkey am cold lick pole on fish sticks in pools of men eating fish babies with giant tomato faces that have loving party animals that will wear your
mothers petticoat fingernail sponge fly over the great barrier men floor of seamen in alot of jamaica grass toppings on lemur tail with very long elbows that like to have icecream flavoured jelly with beans that contemplates their style of their petticoat.

woo. i am the most anxious potato that ever walked the earth of curtains and wore a large sock in suggestive ways that make potatoes think theyre gay with sock children on the large and enormous beer keg that killed 7845672109672309 jacksons in action at the mall of very large orangutan potatoes that make elf hats and wear very large gloves with big encrusted brains that like to have a big party in chains and dragon costumes which look fab.

Sorry to like, ruin all your self confidence or anything, but don't even try and get that good, it ain't gonna happen.

P.S. PANCAKES FUCKING ROCK OKAY I DON'T WANT TO HEAR NO FUCKING ANTI-PANCAKE SHIT EVER BECAUSE IT ISN'T TRUE. STOP LIVING A LIE YOU SILLY PEOPLE. No offense or anything. Have a lovely rest of your holidays. And anyone going to Parra tomorrow I guess I'll see you there. Laters.

I would start this blog with a number but it's holidays so I forget how to count...

I really don't have much to talk about this week. So I am writing a short blog just to let you all know I am still alive. Pity isn't it.

*I need to find a piece to play for my music yearly.. Any suggestions?
*My eye hurts and I don't know why. Maybe I looked at Daniel's blog. JOKES ITS COOL.
*I don't like bowling. Like really. As in beaten by a ten year old who wasn't using bumpers. Yep.
*I like colours quite alot at the moment. ;O They're pretty.
*My nails still have little pink bits here and there from my dodgy acetone job. I'm too scared to rub it on my skin any more hahaha.
*Vanessa chlorinated my one hundred dollar TB shirt and I still haven't washed it.
*I was going to study but then I remembered I still have a soul. I bet that will offend a lot of people hahaha. Nah it's okay to want to do well.

You guys have a nice week. :D

32.

I dont know how I found this...

Ditto

andrew says (4:39 PM):
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
emily ! says (4:39 PM):
:]
HAHA
andrew says (4:39 PM):
On the planet Ybzeoiubsdak
There lived a small boy named Cameron
Cameron was a good little boy
Even though he survived an abortion and was supectedly gay
emily ! says (4:40 PM):
nice name choice
andrew says (4:40 PM):
He was a nice person who liked to help people very much
One day when he was setting the dinner table for his favourite meal, meat loaf and maple syrup
He noticed his mummy had bought some new serviettes
They were white in colour, and had elephant prints on them
Cameron thought these serviettes were the shiz
So he put one in his pocket
After dinner, cameron went to his room
And pulled out the serviette
To his surprise, the elephants had disappeared
This startled Cameron very much
Until out of the corner of his eye
He noticed a small tribe of elephants on the floor
They were happily grazing the his carpet
Cameron found this utterly spectacular!
So he went and called his parents to his room
emily ! says (4:45 PM):
LOL WTF THIS IS TWISTED
HOWD YOU THINK OF THIS
andrew says (4:45 PM):
When they came back, to their dismay, the elephants were dead
Cameron cried as his mummy told him that she accidentally washed his carpet with miniature elephant killing spray the previous day
When Cameron overcome this terrible occurence
He decided he could make some use of these elephants
He coincidentally had a school project
To collect samples of animals thought to be extinct
Throuhg the powerof wikipedia
Cameron found information on these elephants
Turns out they werent actually elephants
They were tadpoles
But yknow
Same difference
Anyway
He pressed the elephant tadpoles with his white pages books and stuck them to paper with sticky tape
The next day as Cameron was walking to school
He noticed there was a rainbow in the sky
The looked up for a moment to admire it
Just like he admired his girlfriend, Emily
While he was doing this
He did not realise he was standing on the road
emily ! says (4:50 PM):
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
andrew says (4:50 PM):
And was suddenly run over by ms biczo's broomstick!
It was terrible
emily ! says (4:50 PM):
CAMERON IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND
andrew says (4:50 PM):
and messy
and everyone was sad
The End
emily ! says (4:50 PM):
NAWWW .
Daniel says (4:50 PM):
that was very long
andrew says (4:50 PM):
thats what he said

I write pro stories.

andrew says (11:48 PM):
okay
once upon a time....
LOL
there was a strawberry called Geraldine
emily ! says (11:48 PM):
Good start
andrew says (11:49 PM):
Geraldine was a pretty strawberry
long, wavy green leaves
smooth, round seed/nipple thingies.
But
Little did she know
emily ! says (11:49 PM):
strange. Continue.
andrew says (11:50 PM):
She was not the most normal strawberry in the cupboard
Not to mention it not being entirely the most normal thing
to have strawberries growing in a cupboard
but it was a narnia cupboard and it was hardcore and stuff
anyway
The reason for this
was because
Geraldine was actually a llama
wearing a strawberry suit
not just a llama
emily ! says (11:51 PM):
... LOL
andrew says (11:51 PM):
but a plastic midget llama
this was an unusual disorder from birth
not very common
anyyyyywaaaayyyy
emily ! says (11:52 PM):
AHHAAHHAHA LOLLLL
Reminds me of something..
andrew says (11:52 PM):
Geraldine was often teased because of her plasticky midget llama origins
The other strawberries would often be like
OMG BRO WTF ESHAYZZZ WE GNA ROLL YOU LLAMA BIATCH
Which dearly hurt her feelings
So
One day
Geraldine and her best friend, poppycock the premature ejaculation moth
went to visit a strange, old man
little did they know
emily ! says (11:54 PM):
.... o____O
andrew says (11:54 PM):
he wasnt actually a man
he was also a plastic llama strawberry thing
anyway
they hit it off
and had many many small babies
even though there was like a 4 week age difference
emily ! says (11:54 PM):
..
andrew says (11:55 PM):
(thats a lot for a strawberry)
and they also adopted poppycock
but
when their children hatched from their dragon eggs
they werent in fact plastic llama strawberries
they were actually avocadoes
so they had a divine feast
emily ! says (11:55 PM):
This is a twisted story.. LOL
andrew says (11:55 PM):
and everyone was happy
the END.

28.

Heh.

This one above was sposed to be directed at Emily and Alvinn as they both supposedly have brain tumors, but I didn't realise the joke was that harsh. It's here anyway though. But youre both beautiful. LOL.

If Ms Nicholls has/had a family, I think the above would be an accurate representation.

The above reminds me of my jokes. The puns that is. COS THEYRE FUNNY. Today people "dust" didn't seem to think so.

Double Heh.

Reminds me of something DANIEL would say.

alvinn says (8:43 PM):
Lol, Andrew. Life is one big comic strip

Starts with a fuck
Hell, i don't know where i'm going with that

*

These things just have a way of describing everything dont they?

Anonymous #2

Well I thought it was bad enough the first time, but turns out a boring Saturday night can bring out the worse in all of us. Here's Anonymous Blog #2, with a twist.

ONE: You are really quite special, I will never tire of the packets of joy you come in. Especially the tubes- I really love your tubes. Although youre more fun when you're fresh and hot, I dont mind having you the day after, it's all part of the experience really. I also love that you're full of dough.

TWO: Your long, hard wood just can't be described with words. Im sorry for the time I pounded you against the bathtub, but it was just all too exciting. My love for you extends far beyond that smooth nut of yours, it is very much more. Im not too fond that you lack the F-holes some of your relatives possess, but then again, nobody is perfect. I can express my true feelings on you more than I can possibly do on anything else.

THREE: Sometimes I wish you had a longer jack, but then I realise that you already give me so much more than I could ask for, and ask for nothing in return but a rest up for the next time I plug into you. I hope you never die.

FOUR: Things haven't been great lately. I get really angry when you won't let me sit on you all through the night, and when I do get angry I hit you, and throw you. I need you to know that the reason I do this is because I really could not live without you, and I hope things get better soon.

FIVE: You really help me every day, especially at this time of the year. When I rub my nose on you, the relief I get is just so... sensual? Sometimes when this happens, the stuff doesnt always come out, and it might seem like a waste, but I don't mind. A second spent touching you is one I always savour.

SIX: I haven't been on you for a while now, but when I am, I really enjoy it. You truly have the sweetest juice I have ever tasted. Even though I can't taste the sugar in the back of my throat, I always know it's there, and I thank you for that.

SEVEN: Most people think you're very kinky, and think less of me for that, but when it comes down to it, that's really just the way I like it. I can't think of anything I like to slip into more every night. Im getting bigger now and I don't exactly fit in you all the time, but it's worth squeezing to get inside of you.

EIGHT: Having you in my mouth is just the best feeling ever. Once you're there I just cant stop, I always want more of you. People might think that a bit unhealthy in many ways, and there are diseases that I could get from that, but I think that I can be safe with you and prevent that from happening, even if I do swallow every time. You make me really happy.

NINE: I start almost every morning with you. Being able to cover you in my light, creamy milk just makes me smile so much. Then comes the sugar. I'll give you some sugar anytime, sometimes it might be a little too much, but I think it's appropriate considering how dear you are to me. Once you've soaked up all that milk, we really get down to business. Shoving you in there so hard and quick to get to school on time might hurt you, but I think it works better for us that way. If I spent too much time on you, I think I might get a little bored, although with my family, you usually don't last very long anyway.

TEN: We have been together longer than all my other anonymous friends. From the beginning, you were always quite boring, having you on me was just so standard and simple. But then I got to year 8, and you really started to bloom. I don't if it was hormones or just my attitude, because thats a time when we all start to go through some changes, but you just stood out. Now you are one of the things that makes me myself. Some people call us names like faggot when we're together, but I can't let that get to me, you're too important for me to worry about that. I love how you are so multicoloured now, youve bloomed into an interracial sex party really. I think we will have a lot of good times to come, and that you will go through some changes soon, but youre always the same to me. I love you.

And that's it.
If you would like some similar reading I encourage you all to check out Emily's blog from around this time.
Yay for fucked up anonymous posts!!
BTW Daniel isn't ten. ><

27

For those of you who haven't noticed, I have a widget thingo of Mr. T quotes. Is pretty rad yeah??

Lol at Emily-

Emily: OMFGOSH ROFL LOL KATRINA.

GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT?

Andrew: what?

Emily: I had a baby.

o________o

26?

Excuses guys give for not using condoms:

-It doesn't fit.

-I need them for other people.

-I have new socks.

-I don't like it.

-Pool party tomorrow and I'm bringing the water bombs.

-Too expensive because of GFC (the F stands for food).

-Too dull because of GFC (the F stands for flavour).

Yeah. I dunno why I included that. It's courtesy of myself, Luke and Daniel.

Eep.

25

I havent blogged in six days. If I was a New Zealander I would have said "sex days" and you would all laugh. Except I'm not. Also people talking and typing are two different things. Good thinking there. Why did I even bother typing that. And now I'm just going on about it and making myself look even more stupid. Gosh.

I dont really have anything to talk about? I haven't done any homework and I don't intend to. I think I will just write more potential music for our next assessment and practice my Darth Vader voice for play-reading in English. Not that my character is particularly evil or anything, it just makes things interesting. LUKE STOP MAKING BREATHING NOISES IN THE BACKGROUND!! Otherwise I'll pause and everyone will hear you and think to themselves a reason why your hands are under the table! What fun that will be biatch.

This Saturday Daniel and I are going to Macarthur to pick up girls I MEAN WATCH A MOVIE. 0___0. District 9 it is. A documentary about alien slums in Africa or something? Looks sick. Our first movie outing as FIFTEEN YEAR OLD'S.

Oh and also I should mention my Sea Monkeys died. About a week ago. Heh. My theory is that cannibalistic Emily (I capitalised your name!) Sea Monkey ate her small, tasty accomplices, and then spontaneously combusted. Anyway yeah I'm really sad.

"emily: man you're gonna be a bad parent if you can't even raise sea monkeys"

Argh.

24

Today is Monday. This means tomorrow is Tuesday and hopefully (according to my calculations) the next day should be Wednesday. I spent a while working that out so I hope it's right.

Well, yesterday was fathers day, which prompted me to spend time with my father, funnily enough. Here is a brief rundown, IN COMIC FORM!

Hah. I wish. We just spent two hours getting lost in the shire. Then went to a rockabilly motor show full of old fat people with tattoos/ Awesome eh?

Hrmm. Today me and Emily went to go to the uniform shop with Luke, and he didnt even buy anything. But on the way there Emily scared the shit out of some year seveners by stalking them, jumping them, touching them and stealing their bags. Afterwards we realised one of them might have been JIMOTHY, aforementioned. We shall track him down. Then afterwards there was a guy walking with his bag, and I thought he was a horse. Which I think was perfectly logical. And yeah. That was monday.

I wrote two songs this afternoon. Go me.

Ditto the last blog title I made.

I havent blogged in four days, so here is an update of my recent doings:

.



Jokes. Although I can't remember much. Wednesday was boring. We lost ten nil in hockey. Which is almost an improvement. I wont comment on that.

Thursday was Jewish museum, or as I like to call it, the "Jewseum". It was quite sombre and peaceful, which makes me feel bad because I laughed out loud a few times. Although nothing can quite compare to Emily squeaking in the middle of the speech of a Holocaust survivor because the old woman made a joke, and it took about an extra minute for Emily to get the joke. Go figure. But then she slept. So did George, practically on my shoulder. And Ms Nicholls was smiling evil-ly as the old woman described the terror in the ghettos of Poland, and I could have sworn I saw her glance at Avi once or twice.

Friday was average. We get Miss Sayed back next week. Words cannot describe my joy. Except for joy. Thats a pretty accurate description. Provided in a single word. And not only is it a word, it is a word with only THREE LETTERS. What a compact and useful piece of the English language. God bless joy. Then I went to Macarthur and bought my dad a fathers day present. And got shoes. And a magazine and a milkshake. Which then prompted me to read the magazine whilst drinking the milkshake. I think that was a fairly responsible use for the two.

Today is Saturday. It is alright. I found the last of my ag weeds. And my sister helped me. Then I had an ice block and played basketball. Then I showered and now im blogging. Yeah. Id be in a good mood, but my grandfather passed the other day, and I just found out he had a younger gold digging girlfriend that sexed him into leaving her almost a million dollars of property and such. Family ain't too happy. But what do you do hey? Who knows.

It is sunny. Theres a hole in the back of our shed. And I poked it and it got bigger. Heh.

Anyway, have a nice weekend anyone who is reading this.

I can't think of titles any more. Why so?

Today was Tuesday. I was made aware of this startling fact this morning, when my eyes were drawn upon my calendar. It's September now, which for me, means a Surf Green Fender Custom Shop 67' Heavy Relic Telecaster. I could sit here and describe it for the next 5 hours and thirty-eight minutes, but why do that when Alvinn could do it for me.

Out of todays six periods, only two actually involved "work". They also involved substitutes, which means "little to no work". Fkn awesome I say. And English brought joy when our class was left without a teacher for the whole period. We hoped for the best, which basically involved Nicholls' finally carking it. But that didnt happen. What was worse was at lunch when I had to hand her an apology letter and, SHAKE HER HAND. If my blog had a poll it would now involve the question "What sharp implement should I use to cleanse my skin of this filth?". I was thinking a grater, but I will take any suggestions on board.

But yes. English. Most of the time was spent listening to Lisa's stories, including the one about how her dog "Oreo" follows her around in the afternoon. Darn I wouldn't be complaining myself if I was constantly being followed by a tasty biscuit treat, some people just take things for granted...

So yeah. I was convinced that Ski Camp would completely bore-ify school, but it actually got better. No offense to anyone, probably just because it was a bludge of a day. I still miss you guys.

Lately I have been reading Cyanide and Happiness comics like, ritualistically. Ive gotten through almost 600 of them. What is wrong with my life??

So gonna be what I say next time someone is cold. Hah.

Double LOL. Hah.

For all those yet to be enlightened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBJV56WUDng

psmwpspauz,upggu9oqt,gzmfmp97xMG,Z

Emily: "It's really hard Jimmy Zhu!"
Myself: thats what she said.

Best call, ever.

Not really.
I dont know?

Yeah. Country fair was good. Good job to Jenny/Danica/Troy and all the other people i was bothered to watch. Kinda.

Thats about it, jumping castle was like, mega fun too. The whole like hour and a half we were on there. And Daniel on the velcro wall hahaha like most embarrasing thing ever, but funny. I would post it on youtube but i cant be bothered.

Eh. lahmrqg,zxpq/